tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49899012233290462292024-02-19T04:13:52.551-08:00The Us ProjectHimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-56767160485692323042008-10-06T10:24:00.000-07:002008-10-11T10:35:08.659-07:00On a bus..Thank you. For your compassion, understanding, patience, effort, love. Words don't convey how grateful I am for you and everything you do for me. Everything you do for my process and growth as a human. You are a true partner. I love you more than I've ever known I could love someone. <br /><br /><br />Hope your day isn't too tired. :)Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-63572373553242873482008-09-21T23:43:00.000-07:002008-09-21T23:48:55.585-07:00Moments ApartTaking nights off to do other things is one of the greatest things I can do for myself and for you right now. Every time I do that, I further solidify my choice in you on an even deeper level. For more reasons. Different reasons. Each day I find a new reason to love you more. <br /><br />I love it. I love you. I love Us.Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-23894487038510091742008-09-16T02:00:00.001-07:002008-09-16T02:01:21.642-07:00there is no greaterpleasure in this life <br />than giving pleasure<br />to youHimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-47646199896232948372008-08-17T01:54:00.001-07:002008-09-17T01:14:54.680-07:00I think Moby has your cat.Hello Friend of Us,<br /><br /><br />Any sentence fragment + Moby = funny.<br /><br /><br />I appreciate your concern today. <br /><br /><br />I don't how much of what I've said and wrote to Her that she's shared with you, but one of my favorite themes is choice.<br /><br />I want to be chosen, every day.<br /><br />I want the constant evaluation, where she's always answering: "Is this the best man I know?"<br /><br />And I want the answer to be yes, without compromise.<br /><br /><br />Sooooooo..... I have to live up to that. Live up to what I've written and said. <br /><br />Because that's what I want: to be the best man she knows, the best man she will ever know.<br /><br /><br />If she were to choose me, I would pleased. <br /><br />But if she doesn't, I'm not going to act like an asshole. <br /><br />That doesn't make me a better man, you see?<br /><br />Every choice I make these days is based on "does this make me a better man?"<br /><br />It's quite useful. Keeps me from eating candy and getting fat.<br /><br /><br /><br />One big reason this thinking works is that my love for Her is already very actualized.<br /><br />Our creative collaboration provides an uncompromised relationship that is mutually beneficial, progressive, and actual.<br /><br /><br /><br />Things like this may ripple across my heart, but it's only in passing. Fucking Moby!<br /><br />Actually, the thing with Moby is only tough because now I have to make five hundred fucking million dollars.<br /><br />-HimHimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-20675716667524783342008-04-12T01:34:00.001-07:002008-04-12T01:34:53.873-07:00Darn it!"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."<br /><br />-When Harry Met SallyHimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-58542238996956113752008-04-01T23:01:00.001-07:002008-04-01T23:03:51.651-07:00You're Supposed to Sing, or Dance, While the Music is Being Played<object width="400" height="325"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ERbvKrH-GC4&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ERbvKrH-GC4&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="325"></embed></object>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-44965313003381102232008-04-01T10:28:00.000-07:002008-04-01T23:04:40.204-07:00MomentsThere are moments of clarity when the love just permeates through to me. Those are the moments that keep me holding on, determined to work through this push/pull in my head. Last night, one moment. Then into the car, this song begins...<br /><br /><br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/PleaseBePatientWithMe.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-33198554349916393482008-03-31T00:15:00.000-07:002008-04-01T10:32:37.535-07:00Allow Me ThisThe darkness with us? Sure.<br /><br />But so is the light, the grinning, swelling, exploding beauty of love love love love LOVE.<br /><br />I heard this on the way home from you tonight.<br /><br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/the-book-of-love.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-14951917257497994792008-03-30T00:51:00.000-07:002008-03-30T01:08:18.771-07:00Daily Download #00011: The Darkness Is Always With Us<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/isolano/370053436/"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/184/370053436_d3e0a6893b.jpg?v=0" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><blockquote><br />"Ordinary cycles of opening and closing are necessary medicine for our heart's integration. In some cases, though, there are not just cycles, there is a crash. <br /><br />As far as we ascend, so far can we fall. This too needs to be included in our maps of spiritual life, honored as one more part of the great cycle.<br /><br />A Zen koan, asked of students who have experienced a first awakening: "A clearly enlightened person falls in the well. How is this so?" <br /><br />One Zen master reminds his students, "After any powerful spiritual experience, there is an inevitable descent, a struggle to embody what we have seen." <br /><br />The well we fall into can be created by clinging to our experience and spiritual ideals or by holding inflated ideas about our teachers, our path, or our self. <br /><br />The well can be the unfinished business of our psychological and emotional life--an unwillingness to acknowledge our own shadow, to include the human needs, the pain, and the darkness that we carry, to see that we always have one foot in the dark. As bright as it is, the universe also needs us to open to its other side."<br /> </blockquote><br />-<a href='http://diydharma.org/contributors?op0=OR&filter0%5B%5D=jack_kornfield'>Jack K.</a>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-23721225876854182622008-03-28T23:46:00.000-07:002008-03-31T00:19:20.441-07:00Either Way...<embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/EitherWay.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-39292567830318421692008-03-28T21:48:00.000-07:002008-03-28T23:47:10.241-07:00Good and Bad, At Once<embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/winner.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-9914582282607541452008-03-28T02:46:00.000-07:002008-03-28T02:51:16.930-07:00Re: Duma KeyI just finished watching my various mindlessly entertaining shows, walked back to my room, realized I still have to make the bed, thought about your putting my sheets into the dryer and smiled. Then I walked over to my desk intending to email you a dentist appointment reminder and discovered your checkbook and this lovely post. This is all very hard for me. I've never been faced with seemingly huge decisions coupled with this overwhelming sense of awareness yet still peppered with confusion. I'm scared. I'm scared of fully letting you in. I'm scared of becoming physically intimate with you. I'm scared of really truly allowing myself to be loved further than I've ever been before. I'm scared that if I give myself in the ways that I have in the past, I will get hurt like I did in that past. I'm trying to protect myself from the pain I chose to endure for almost four years. I'm terrified. And it wasn't until I walked into my room and discovered my unmade bed that I realized that. You're amazing. I love you. I'm in love with you. I just need us both to approach a bit more slowly than we have been. I'm coming from a very very tender place. And I need patience. As much as I said that I'm open with everyone, I don't know if I truly believe that anymore. I talk to people about whatever I want, personal things, sex, whatever, without fear of their judgment, but I still keep people at bay. I allow people to love me, <span style="font-style:italic;">really</span> love me, only so far. There is something in me that you've tapped into that I'm scared of - success. I see such immense potential and I'm scared shitless of being a success in my own life. I've never followed through with anything: high school, guitar, piano, exercising regularly, relationships, etcetera etcetera. It's finally starting to make sense, and I think I finally have a inkling of understanding why I've been so cripplingly confused lately. <br /><br />(that and the medicine...what a <i>huge</i> lightbulb that was!)<br /><br /><br />don't forget the dentist appointment! <br /><br />xoxoxoxox - herHerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-52162495676816799912008-03-28T02:14:00.000-07:002008-12-10T01:11:31.294-08:00Duma Key<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs0MjpXTXap1y4C7NEfe0ZuvsFi_beZd21nPUri_CCl7-Rk24-kJ87SzRfaokWhky1cIxpHYfSZjDFTtVLqSD23aieHCNmUrAmIXdpC6awTI7P_MY_7qS2WuzuaKcOUBAKnozyWJOl1zw/s1600-h/duma.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs0MjpXTXap1y4C7NEfe0ZuvsFi_beZd21nPUri_CCl7-Rk24-kJ87SzRfaokWhky1cIxpHYfSZjDFTtVLqSD23aieHCNmUrAmIXdpC6awTI7P_MY_7qS2WuzuaKcOUBAKnozyWJOl1zw/s320/duma.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5182720252749311954" /></a><br /><br /><br />Just finished my Stephen King book, Duma Key. Scary! And good. <br /><br />I've been reading since I got home, making it hard to think about today.<br /><br />But in those moments where I paused, your scent was there. <br /><br />Is here now.<br /><br /><br />We meet.<br /><br />You give me tea, the fog pulls away.<br /><br />I give you a camera, because I want to see what you see.<br /><br />We ride, at last! <br /><br />Zebras, lemurs, mouth-farting apes, babies, children, aviary, meerkat manor.<br /><br />Your tears; my hurt; our confusion.<br /><br />Then: laughter.<br /><br />And something growing cold, melts a little.<br /><br />You give me gloves, and a ride.<br /><br />We drink coffee, eat cheese, but no animals.<br /><br />We talk. <br /><br />We share, we learn, and find a way.<br /><br /><br /><br />I hope you are at peace with us tonight.<br /><br />And tomorrow, and tomorrow.<br /><br /><br /><br />Just remember that one moment, where it was simple, made sense, felt good.<br /><br />That's where we make our place.<br /><br />That's where we meet.<br /><br />I think it was when we were ordering cheese?<br /><br /><br /><br />With love,<br />Him<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/061017/061017_meerkats_vmed_3p.widec.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/061017/061017_meerkats_vmed_3p.widec.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-33572928888728498182008-03-26T18:57:00.000-07:002008-03-26T18:59:47.775-07:00Daily Download #00010My head is on fire with confusion. I feel like I'm crazy. How could it take this turn. Why now? What of it? I don't have answers and feel horrible for that. I just wish I knew...Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-12987684932903592152008-03-24T00:47:00.000-07:002008-03-24T01:00:11.281-07:0020 Rupees<img src='http://farm1.static.flickr.com/30/43772279_6f824fdde8_m.jpg'><br /><br />A glass jar, filled with red.<br />I hold it, slosh it around, smell and hear it.<br /><br />The lid won't come off,<br />I strain against it, eyes wild.<br /><br />There's love in there,<br />I'm sure.<br /><br />Bottled somehow, sealed away.<br />I can see it, but I can't feel it.<br /><br />You find me, you watch me.<br />I don't notice, I strain.<br /><br />Your hands on mine,<br />I jump, spell broken.<br /><br />Let me have it,<br />you say.<br /><br />I look up at you,<br />memories flashing.<br /><br />And my hands are empty,<br />except for the buzz of your touch.<br /><br />It was a 20 Rupee potion.<br />A red jar on a shelf.<br /><br />Your hair is on my pillow.Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-66511871339079928762008-03-18T16:31:00.000-07:002008-03-18T16:42:42.854-07:00Re: Daily Download #00009The Shakespeare quote sums up the rumbling thoughts I've had on your DD. <br /><br />We were not seeking this love, but here it is, fully formed, given freely.<br /><br />Time, energy, resources... how best to build, grow, and sustain our willingness to give?<br /><br />It's this will to give that continues to surprise me the most.<br /><br />If the challenge of relationships is doing the work, making the effort to push through resistance, what if there is no resistance?<br /><br /><br />Now admittedly, we're but one month on this journey. But we've both been on similar roads before, and we both are reporting back that there is something different.<br /><br />Something very different.<br /><br />Love given freely, without fear, or doubt, is incredibly potent.Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-1363924533541626412008-03-18T16:24:00.000-07:002008-03-18T16:29:23.312-07:00Time"Love sought is good, but given unsought is better"<br />Twelfth Night, Act iii, Sc.1Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-26681719315427810322008-03-16T21:47:00.000-07:002008-03-18T16:29:37.692-07:00Nothin's New Forever...One Month :)<br /><br /><br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/KeepFallin.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-91604694465887483022008-03-14T13:56:00.000-07:002008-03-17T11:55:07.300-07:00Daily Download #00009I love you more every day. I don't know how this happened. I've been struck with wonder surrounding how excited I was to see you last night. How I truly feel that no matter where we are geographically, I can be happy with you. We play off of each other in a way that makes me giddy and exited and hopeful for the future. However, when I think about the future with you, I don't see it as an end goal. I see it as little moments all tied together to form this path together. Side-by-side. There's no sense of urgency to arrive at any certain place. I can simply enjoy sitting in a diner eating, talking, listening, absorbing the energy you give. I am at ease to just <i>be</i> in the moment with you. Calm. Content.<br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/InTheAeroplaneOverTheSea.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-5010413773737379632008-03-12T01:18:00.000-07:002008-03-12T23:40:36.296-07:00Whatever, Together.<embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/AM180.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-84975661871059130872008-03-11T22:56:00.000-07:002008-03-11T23:21:58.356-07:00Jazz<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://gallery.hoyhoy.org/albums/amp/Matisse_Icarus_Jazz_Plate_VIII.sized.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://gallery.hoyhoy.org/albums/amp/Matisse_Icarus_Jazz_Plate_VIII.sized.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br />Remembering.<br /><br />Not easy, or hard.<br /><br />Those moments.<br /><br />There's something.<br /><br />I don't remember why. <br /><br />Or how.<br /><br />Remember that small moment?<br /><br />I do.<br /><br />It circles around, and around.<br /><br />Different this time.<br /><br />Every time.<br /><br />Maybe I'll learn.<br /><br />Maybe I'll remember<br /><br /><br />Learn your place.<br /><br />Remember your place.<br /><br /><br />I'll remember.<br /><br /><br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/end.mp3' autoplay='false'></embed>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-17713542246665201772008-03-11T00:35:00.000-07:002008-03-11T23:19:00.940-07:00Re: Daily Download #00008Once again, I go back to balance. There is a healthy balance between our similarities and differences. This balance is a product of our realized individual selves. In the past, I've tried to conform to a person I had interest in only for their interest to be lost as a result. Similarly, I've experienced someone conforming to my personality and interests only to lose interest in them. We are at a place in our self actualization process where we've found security in being simply <i> who we are</i>. <br /><br />Our sync points were there before we met. They weren't forced or conformed. They're genuine and organic. We really just <i>are</i> this compatible. There is true merit in this compatibility for the reasons you've stated - it allows us to simply use our loving energy for things other than smoothing over and filling in gaps. That energy has been an evident motivator for me. The love I give you and the love I receive, because it's not simply filling in gaps, has created an energy within me to be a better human. To grow. To realize my potential. To work at this. I see such long term potential because of this. And it's real. <br /><br /><br />I'm hoping with chance, you might take this dance...<br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/ReadyForTheFloor.mp3'autoplay='false'></embed>Herhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590165002831016258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-30604694369227412222008-03-08T00:53:00.000-08:002008-03-08T02:11:47.250-08:00Daily Download #00008In DD#00001 I said that love is easy. Love just appears inside us, no effort required.<br /><br />What's hard is what takes effort: the work it takes to make a relationship function and thrive.<br /><br />However, all of us, no matter how much we may be "in" love, have a limit of what we can offer, can give.<br /><br />A huge challenge is to make sure what we give goes towards choices and actions that actually have impact, create a stronger connection, and deeper trust; putting love's energy into building something lasting.<br /><br />What makes this challenging is that love is also used to "smooth over" or "look past" stuff in our partners that we would otherwise be annoyed with, bothered by, or distracted by.<br /><br />Love's energy can fill in gaps to help a couple better fit together, but what love is used this way cannot be used in another, making some percentage of your available energy always devoted to the effort if smoothing, forgiving, and looking past.<br /><br />The fewer of these ill-fitting attributes, the more energy available for the building, the concrete effort of building and maintaing a relationship.<br /><br />Or, more simply, the more compatible you are as people, the more successful you'll be as lovers. <br /><br />At this point in our discovery, we are deeply compatible people. We share so many fundamental interests, perspectives, and opinions... its simply astonishing, thrilling!<br /><br />These fundamental personality compatibilities limit our day-to-day personality frictions, giving us more energy to devote to concrete expressions of our mutual love.<br /><br />That we are just getting started in this discovery makes me all the more optimistic. We will inevitably find some stuff that bothers the other, but we'll also find more sync points. The basic core of our natures point us along the same trajectory, providing us similar, but different perspectives. We are not the same, but what we share is so fundamental that when we finally took the time to really get know to each other, we instantly became old friends. <br /><br />Its rare to encounter such people, those with whom you immediately, fundamentally connect with. <br /><br />Its vastly more rare for you and a new person to share a potent mutual physical attraction, be single, and be open to such a powerful connection.<br /><br />You gotta play to win; we were and we did!Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-16258531674163420032008-03-07T12:00:00.001-08:002008-03-07T12:08:33.814-08:00Decisions<a href='http://xkcd.com/150/'><img src='http://the-us-project.com/images/grownups.png'></a>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989901223329046229.post-12368554726293408702008-03-06T14:00:00.000-08:002008-03-07T02:39:29.162-08:00Re: Daily Download #00007Too many overlapping words, thoughts, feelings. <br /><br />It feels so absolutely appropriate and honest to simply sit and consider you, Us.<br /><br />This consideration creates continuous feeling of discovery.<br /><br />And that is very exciting.<br /><br /><embed src='http://the-us-project.com/music/candy_coated_valentine.m4a' autoplay='false'></embed>Himhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16308910298367326460noreply@blogger.com